Kenyan Election Stolen

As I prepare to go to Arizona to meet my friend J's sister, I wonder what I'll hear about the Kenyan election that just took place. A professor of history she went to Kenya to try and assist with the election process and bring about what was to be the first democratic election. A woman who tremendous passion about her work, I'm so interested in meeting her...but I know she'll probably be in a concerned mood about what has transpired. Luckily she made it out of Nairobi among all the riots; her mother sitting on the edge of her seat for the past few days.

It made me think about the movie I saw just last week, A Mighty Heart, about the killing of Daniel Pearl. People like J's sister want so much to bring about change in the world as did Daniel Pearl or at the very least report on what is really happening. We get so little real news back here in our ethnocentric country. I'm sure my world will be opened up as a result of just being with the family. I happened across the Mary Oliver poem, Wage Peace. I'm to bring something like that...a poem, a song, a story...this poem seems quite apropo given what has just ensued. Let's hope that violence there does not escalate, but with a people's hopes shattered...I fear it's unlikely. Pray for peace...it's New Years...that's all we can do for the People of Kenya and for the people of Iraq and our own soldiers....in 2008, let's hope for a saner world.

Chinese Food on Christmas

So my friend Pablo send me this funny video about called Chinese Food on Christmas...I think it was a follow-up to my previous angst about being Jewish on Christmas...enjoy.

The King and I

If you get the opportunity to see this amazing play at the Village Theater in Issaquah I highly recommend it. The costumes and sets were outstanding and several of the actors are worth a thumbs up mention. The woman who play Mrs. Leonowens played the role equally as well as Deborah Kerr and the young woman who played Top Tim, was beautiful, had a gorgeous voice and embodied the agony of a young woman trapped by the King being in love with another man. She also was the narrator of the play within the play based on "Uncle Tom's Cabin"--

That play within the play was a major highlight for me. The costumes and dancing were superb and they had an angel come down from above to come take Eva away after she dies and he/she was an aerialist who hung from a clothe, did the splits, and then hung by one foot; I'd say it was equal to if not better the the movie scene.

The King was OK...I thought Yul Brenner was much more convincing, but then who could ever top Yul Brenner.

I thought about the enormous Buddha in one scene and the costuming and then realized how easy it must have been to obtain the really McCoy given that we have so many Thai people living in Seattle.

The orchestra was fabulous and the songs of course bring you back to the many times you probably saw the movie.

All in all a really great experience. Sit on the main floor if you can; I had a hard time hearing some of the dialogue.

Making Challah and Remembering My Grandmother

As I knead the bread for the Challah I'm making for Shabbat, I can't help thinking about my grandmother who did the same but lived in two rooms and had 7 children to care for. What was her life really like? It must have been hard is all I can imagine. Poor as doormice, bread must have been a staple of every meal being relatively cheap compared to vegetables, fruit and meat. I do know they ate chicken. My mother remembers her mother swinging a live chicken over her head to kill it. Then she had to cut off it's head, kasher it by draining all the blood, and pluck it's feathers. This must have been an all day project. Just keeping a household running must have been an 18 hour a day job. And I know she also worked as a janitor to keep her family fed. An easy life, she did not have.

As I write the story of my grandmother...I stand in awe of her. I wish I had met her but she met a similar fate to many Jews of her time--she was killed by the Nazi's in Auschwitz. I know she went to her death a proud woman--an orthodox Jew who never compromised her principles. A simple loaf of Challah connects us. I'll never really know what her life was like but I feel her in my heart, bones, and soul. My middle name Ilona, was hers. Today Bubbe I remember and honor you and hope that the way I'm living my life is a testiment to the love I feel for you.

Benazir Bhutto: A Profile of Courage

Today a woman who dared stand up against an Islamic State, was assassinated. Although I don't pretend to know much about the life of Benazir Bhutto, I do know that she tried to make changes that were not popular and that would have benefited woman and children in Pakistan. She was the first woman elected Prime Minister in Pakistan and like woman of her type, Golda Meir, Indira Gandhi, and Aung San Suu Kyi (also the daughter of a previous political figure), she wanted to make a difference in the lives of her people. She knew that the possibility of her assassination; but she came out of hiding and back to her country to run in an election in a government that has been in constant turmoil. Her assassination does not bode well for the rest of the world either. What would Hillary Clinton have to say about this turn of events, particularly in the midst of her own bid for power? I'm sure we will hear from her and others in the next few days. In mind it's people like Benazir Bhutto that are the most courageous of all because of the tremendous odds they face in trying to make changes in society, particularly when those odds are so stacked against them. At times like these as the New Year is upon us we can only pray that our own people will elect a strong leader that is willing to step up and go against the status quo. Will it happen? Only God knows.

Volunteering vs. Taking Care of Ourselves

Ok...so today is Christmas...with no family in town I'm relying on my friends to get me through the holiday. I could be serving food in a soup kitchen but I just never seem to get around to making that commitment. If I had kids that would seem like the perfect opportunity to show them how lucky they are. But since I don't (have kids) and I know it's rough out there I'm choosing to spend it on myself. Today is a day to clean, get organized for the New Year, talk to old friends, catch up on sleep, go to a movie, and out for Chinese.

But back to the helping out part. I do think it's important. Being Jewish I believe wholeheartly in doing mitzvahs. But I do think they need to come from your heart and not just out of obligation. And if I think back over the year I can recall the special things I've done for others. I've been volunteering at the Washington State Holocaust Education Resource Center, tutoring a friends children, helping out a friend in need and doing small things here and there when I can. Perhaps I should make one commitment to an organization; that might feel more productive and less scattered. But it's just not where I am right now.

I think we need to look at our lives and determine how we are doing first and then how much of our energy can we realistically contribute to the world. We can overextend ourselves, burn ourselves out, and then no one benefits.

Being mindful of our needs, taking care of those needs and then thinking of one effort that will make a difference would be a good New Years Resolution. Think about it!

Bruce Springsteen

I was lucky enough to receive the latest Springsteen CD for Chanukkah. It's vintage Springsteen all the way. Fantastic rhythms. Soulful, gritty lyrics. This will be a CD to listen to over and over. I don't know how many of you ever had the luck of attending a Springsteen concert. Oh my God...what an experience...verging on a religious experience. I went to his Born in the USA concert many moons ago. He was young (35), hot, and with energy to burn. He easily outlasted his audience by about an hour; he played for over 3 without stopping. I have to admit he entered my fantasies quite a bit in those days. What would it be like to be with Bruce. Of course I thought perfect, wonderful, ideal. Would it have been? Who knows. Then he married a movie star from Oregon. Thank God that didn't last and he married Patty from his band. But it did produce Tunnel of Love, a pretty fab CD. And what are CDs but reflections of our life at that time anyway. As is his current CD. Go out and buy it. You'll be rocking the night away.

Selling on Amazon

Well today I looked into selling some old tapes and CDs on Amazon. It seems like a pretty simple way to unload some stuff that I never listen to and make some money in the meantime. Some of the things I have include The Age of the Great Goddess and by a woman named Marija Gimbutas and Spiritual Power; Spiritual Practice by Carolyn Myss. I have no idea where I got the first one (so I hope I'm not selling something that I borrowed; oy, that would be pretty bad). The other set of tapes I'm glad to unload. I used to be really into Carolyn Myss, but not anymore, so someone will get a good deal there.

If I can't figure out the Amazon selling thing my BFF Laurie said she'd help, since she's done this before. Meanwhile I'm waiting for a friend to come over so we can break bread and do Shabbat. Should be a nice quiet evening. I'm going to be relishing these next few weeks as I start work at Swedish on the 8th after a trip to Prescott, AZ. A change of scenery will be nice.

Getting a Good NIght's Sleep

I know I've talk about sleep apnea till I'm blue in the face--no pun intended. But I do have some things to say about how to get a good night's sleep if you simply have that occasional problem with insomnia. The best place to find this information is by going to Ehow.com, typing in How to Get A Good Night's Sleep OR type in Tiferet and all my articles will come up including that one. I have some excellent tips in there from all the reading that I've done.

Good luck and sweet dreams.

The Hunt for A Good Night's Sleep

After a bad night's sleep using my CPAP machine, I decided to sleep at a friends. As you read in previous blogs I have a diagnosis of sleep apnea (although I always question whether that's really the reason I don't sleep well). Well, sleeping at GG's made the different (this time). Woke up early but then fell back asleep. Ah...what a wonderful feeling to wake up refreshed. Am I giving up on the CPAP machine? No, today I'm going back to my doc to get a full face mask because apparently I'm mouth breathing. If you mouth breath, it's as if you are not even using the machine because it pumps air into your nose to keep open your throat passage and if you open your mouth, it's useless because all the air escape through the path of least resistance. This is with using a chinstrap and all. Oy! So here I go to the full mask to see if it will do any good. Frankly a few months of meditation in an ashram might do the trick! Of course you can't spend your life that way. And I should meditate--but do I; of course not! The only thing that has helped me is a technique I learned from a therapist. If you want to learn more about that technique, you can go to ehow.com and search for tiferet; all my articles will pop up and looking for the one that talks about grounding. It helped me get more nights of better sleep.

Volunteering

This is definitely the time of year where volunteerism goes up. With soup kitchens needing assistance, non-profits of all kinds needing people to adopt a family for the holidays, gift wrapping activities; you name it, there are plenty of organizations to volunteer for. Where am I volunteering? Not the soup kitchen, nor any of the places I mentioned. But for the Washington State Holocaust Education Resource Center. Because my mom is a holocaust survivor I used to be on the board of this very important organization. A couple of months ago I called them up to see if they needed any help. It's amazing how much this organization has grown from the days when I was on the board. Back then I interviewed Holocaust survivors, pre-Steven Spielberg. It was an awesome responsibility to elicit responses from people who had been through the horrors of the holocaust. KOMO-TV provided us with the venue and professional videotape equipment which was so terrific. We created a video out of those stories and I wrote the first grant that the organization received in order to complete it.

Things have grown tremendously since I was on the board; they have about 12 trunks filled with books, curricula and other educational materials that are constantly going out to schools for teachers who are doing a unit on the Holocaust. Professional done posters have been made that describe artifacts that the Center has along with the person who donated it. I've been assisting with some of the artifact cataloging.

Along with this, I've been inspired to write my own families story directed at the middle school age group. I don't know how far I'll get, but the Center assures we that I can self-publish and they'll get it out there. How amazing that would be! I've never even considered being an author. But then there are always ways to accomplish something great, even if you haven't considered them as possibilities. Right now I'm keeping myself open to all possibilities.

If you volunteer, you never know where opportunities could lead or you may find the inspiration to do something you had never thought of before. Get out there and find an organization that speaks to your heart. You never know, you may end up their next Executive Director, if you aren't careful.

Being Jewish at Christmastime

One of the hardest months of the year for Jews is December. OK, I know we have Chanukkah, but is doesn't compare in any way to Christmas. And it's even harder if your single. If you watch TV, listen to the radio or shop, and who doesn't, you're bombarded by Christmas trees, Christmas music, Christmas cards, Merry Christmas, Christmas parties, and Christmas shows. I know that Christians get kind of sick of it too, but can you imagine being Jewish and having too deal with it. Hearing Adam Sandler sing the Chanukkah song on the radio is actually something I look forward to. It's not too bad for me this year. I used to work for a Catholic hospital and so you can imagine what that was like. OK, I know this all sounds a bit bahhummugish....but there are things about this time of year that I actually like. Like the lights at night. I think I'd miss those.

In fact I did one year many moons ago when I lived in Israel and no one celebrated Christmas. In some ways it was a relief, but it was also a little wierd. I still remembering going into Netanya, the closest town to the Kibbutz I lived on and buying 2 stockings and loading them up with candy to put on the door of my boyfriend and his roommate, because they weren't Jewish. I thought it would make them feel more at home. I recall that a bunch of us even sang Christmas songs, wierd huh. And truth be told, I did sing Christmas carols at the Catholic hospital where I worked, but that was for the patients. Anyway, it's a strange time of year. What do Jews do on Christmas eve? We usually go out for Chinese and then to a movie. We call it Erev Christmas!

Transitions

Making transitions can be hard; they can be downright painful. And they are happening to us all the time. Sometimes they are small, such as the neighbor moved and now, what will the new neighbor be like? Or, they can be huge such as getting fired from a job or starting a new one. As most humans I'm experiencing both right now. I'm about to accept a new job and have some trepidation about it. I thought I was on the path to working part-time and doing some writing on the side OR possibly becoming trained as a coach. Now I'll have to figure out how to make some of that happen, regardless of the new job. I also have a new housemate moving in around the same time. What will she be like and will we get along? So many unknowns. Then the New Year will soon be upon us and we are all facing getting a year older. The main thing is that during those transitions how can we ride them like a surfer on a wave instead of getting smacked in the face or drowning. I think the key is attitude and flexibility. The better our attitude about change and the more open we are to what may be, the better able we will be to weather whatever happens to us.

August Rush

A born conductor with an ear that hears like no other, August Rush, is a boy and a film you must see. Raised in an orphanage for boys, we are introduced to August when he is still Evan. He has no desire to be adopted because he knows his parents are out there looking for him; and somehow the music he hears and the stars above are his guidepost to them and to him. We get a glimpse of his parents--how they met and how they parted and we ache for them. We see the incredible genius of this boy wonder as he hears music in everything around him. He leaves his boyhood home mesmerized by a prepubescient, African American guitar player playing in the middle of Washington Square in NY City. It's the tale of--if you want something badly enough and you have the talent--you will be led to the place you were meant to be. Through a series of circumstances Evan (August) comes in touch with Robin Williams a caring, throw away kid once himself who teaches, protects, and collects half the take of the musical kids under his care including the African American guitar player who Evan (August) follows home (an old, usused theater). Evan becomes Williams personal project and he names him August Rush after a bus logo that passes them by--he sees his talent and wants to profit off of it. After a series of circumstances August ends up at Julliard (you have to suspend your disbelieve in how he gets there) with the chance to conduct his own symphony. Through his music he ultimately gets what he really wants--the parents he always knew were there. Inspiring as it is poignant, run don't walk to this fabulous, feel good film.

Jewish Gospel?

That's right ... such a thing exists. I spent two summers with Sharon Alexander at the Jewish Renewal Kallah learning how to sing Jewish Gospel. Actually, it was a class she taught and then at the end of the Kallah, we had the opportunity to perform it. You can hear a sampling right here. If you look closely you'll be able to see me in a brown no sleeve top on the right hand side of the video clip.



The energy was simply amazing! Let me know if you agree? If you want to hear more, simply go to YouTube and search for Jewish Gospel. I'd love to bring her to Seattle so we could have our very own lessons and community performance.

Job Interviews

So I"m about to go on another job interview. They interviewed me last week by phone since I was so sick. The crazy thing about it is; I really don't want the job. My G-d ... they expect me to raise almost a million dollars for a conference that I believe takes places some time next summer. That's just insane. Unless the pharmaceutical companies are going to be knocking my door down, I don't know how that is doable. It must be if they did it last year, but who knows.

I went on another job interview yesterday and met a lovely woman who would be my boss. That job was to be a health care recruiter, something I know virtually nothing about. I think I would love working with her, but then there is the awful commute to Bellevue and the 8am start. I think anything before 9am is inhuman or inhumane ... however you want to phrase it.

Anyway, I think the whole idea of it's not applying for jobs that gets you the job it's who you know is a bunch of bullshit. I called a woman today who would be my boss for 2 jobs that I saw and she told me she wasn't even the one who would be doing the screening ... and she told me that she thought I was overqualified. So what is a gal to do.

All I can think is that the right this hasn't come along yet and when it does, they will snap me up and I'll be happy as a clam.

One can only hope!

The Last Night of Chanukkah

Being sick for the entire length of Chanukkah has been somewhat of a bummer. I didn't sit home the whole week, but I probably should have. In addition to going to see The Golden Compass which was awesome, I went to my friend Paulette's house with John to light the candles, share food, and play my guitar for the kids. I was beat by 7pm, but I'm glad I went.
We didn't have any latkes. So I'm still dying to have just one. I always have at least one during Chanukkah.

On another note, I was so touched today when my 8 year old nephew called me up to thank me for his Chanukkah present. I had just watched, Mitch Albom's One More Day and so cried my eyes out. I'm so sentimental. And then because it was the last night I called up my buddy Laurie and asked her to sing the prayers with me while I lit my menorah. Luckily my other good buddy Gail was there as well so we all sang together. Feeling a little bit like Typhoid Mary, it still felt good to be with them even if only by phone. It's amazing how important family is at this time of year. It's hard because when you live in another city as I have for so many years, it easy to feel disconnected. Creating family of my own here in Seattle has been incredibly important. And Laurie said that she's got the latke making down this year and has promised to make me some once I'm better. Now that's a true friend.

The Golden Compass

It was amazing our group of 6 were almost the only ones in the theater this past Saturday to view the opening of The Golden Compass with all the hype it's received. Maybe it was the mixed reviews. I had just read the book so it was fresh in my mind. Although the movie did not hold totally true to the book particularly at the end, the casting was superb, Dakota Blue who was a perfect fit for the wild, risk taking Lyra Belacqua and Nicole Kidman as the "Ice Queen" Mrs. Coulter. The opening scenes were reminiscent of Oliver Twist with kids running amok through some London streets. The juxtaposition of the animals with the people were seamless which added to the believability of this extraordinary fantasy. On the surface it's pure fun and beneath it all is the pull between the church and it's hold on society and it's desire to control our sexuality and as the book portends that "dust" which the church and the evil guys see as "evil" is probably really a good thing. The whole premise is that if we separate ourselves from our souls before they mature into adulthood, we can keep our sexuality at bay. This doesn't totally come out in the movie but likely will in the next. I'm anxious to get ahold of The Subtle Knife, the next book in the series to see where author, Phillip Pullman goes. It should be a wild ride. I'd love to hear some other takes on this movie, from others who have read the book and seen the flick. The Golden Compass in my mind was a great getaway from our everyday life.

Killer Cold Cures

I can't believe it's been an entire week and I still have the "Killer Cold". It just doesn't seem to want to go away. Luckily I had a good nights sleep and feel more energetic than I have all week long. But that doesn't mean the creeping crud isn't still doing it's nasty thing. I think that the viruses out there have gotten more powerful lately. It seems like a lot of people can't get over colds as quickly as they used to; they just seem to hang on and on. Now we have all kinds of meds to help us get over them more quickly; Zicam, Zinc lozenges, Echinacea, Saline Rinses, Sambucol, Emergency-C. Not to mention, the biggie for travellers, Airborne. We are either trying to prevent or get over a cold. And many of us march into the Drs office thinking that he/she will have some magic bullet. Well there isn't one. I for one think it's all the stupid antibiotics we've been taking for years and now the anti-bacterial soaps that are knocking out any chance for our immune systems to keep up to speed on doing what they do best. So when a funky cold virus comes along we just can't handle it. I know someone out there will say I'm mixing up my apples and oranges or rather viruses and bacteria and never the twain shall meet, but I don't think so. I'm of the mind that we shouldn't be protecting the rug rats from eating off the floor. That's how they build up their defenses. Anyone out there who has a better argument. I'm all ears.

Writing for A Living: Who Me?

Well after wandering around the net for awhile and looking through Craig's list and all sorts of other places, I ran across a post for writers. I know, I know I'm already writing right here, but I would like to make a little bit of money. So I sent the guy the link to this blog and he said I was a talented writer. Is that some kind of line or something? I always considered myself just an average writer. Who knows?

Well I know for sure I'm not a stellar writer or I'd be published by now. Then I started reading a book called "The Zookeeper's Wife" and immediately put it down and thought "hey I could write a children's book about my own family". You see my family on my mother's side went through the holocaust (which is what the Zookeeper's Wife is about) and I got inspired. Believe me I have no huge or lofty ideas that whatever I write will actually get published, but one never knows.

Then I thought, I could write it in installments. Let my best friends kid read it and see if it even interests him. Then I'll go from there. Am I nut's? Well not exactly, I think I was really inspired by the fact the J.K Rowlings was featured last night on 20/20 as the most fascinating person in 2007. Now she's some writer and what an imagination. I'm jealous of the creative types that can just think up stuff out of thin air. I would at least need reality as an anchor for anything I wrote. Any budding writers out there?

Coaching as an Innate Life Function

So I guess I love to offer advice (I know this is anathema to the coaching field)..but bear with me I'm still going to call it coaching. So remember back to my bus driver connection in a previous blog (the guy who brought me the furniture). Well he gave me a connection to his ex-wife who he is still friends with. I called her today and she's involved with the Mountaineer Players and needed advice on how to raise $ for their plays and a day camp. I called her today and she was awesome. Well I thought she might have a paying job for me but no such luck. But did that stop me from offering my free and very good advice. Of course not!

I found myself getting really excited about it. And for those who are on their Passion Search....remember..this is a key to finding out what you really love. I gave her many different options from going to the library in Redmond and working with this amazing librarian and resource, Jeannette Privat, who is a whiz at finding foundations to contact for grants, to contacting the Chamber of Commerce on the Kitsap peninsula to find out about local businesses to approach. I even told her how to approach the businesses. Finally, I suggested that she talk to the board of the Mountaineer Foundation (their umbrella) and see if they are doing an end of year mailing and whether they can be part of the ask with an earmark for their plays and CAMP. Alternatively they could write a year end letter to those folks who have attended their plays--see who sends a check and then keep them on their hit list of folks to invite to a small gathering, explaining further their plans for their plans and the camp.

Putting yourself out into the universe in positive ways is important. Helping others is important. It will come back to you in ways you don't expect.

How to Meet People Whereever You Go

Remember back to my earlier blog about the bus driver I met. Well he's an amazing guy. I sent him an e-mail and he responded a few days ago. Now I could be getting myself into trouble and maybe he's not just a nice guy but one who'd married and is seeking something other than friendship, but I guess I'm the trusting sort and I use my intuition about these kinds of things. Anyway, he called me and asked if I needed any furniture. He knows I'm unemployed and he has a household full of furniture that he wants to get rid of. I told him I could use a recliner. He said, "what kind". He had 3 of them. Well now I'm the proud owner of a new, used recliner that looks identical to the one I broke several years ago and it even matches my living room.

You just never know the kind of people you will meet. Being the connector I am, I'm constantly meeting and talking to people. That's really the best way to meet people. Who knows the next person you talk to standing in line could become you next best friend or even your partner. The universe delivers to us in strange, unpredictable ways.

Fuzzy Head

On most days I never talk about the fact that I have fibromyalgia, but when it keeps me up at night or when I get sick it tends to rear it's ugly head. FM or fibromyalgia for short is a wierd, quirky syndrome that started invading my body in 1992. Caused by stress, an accident or even a difficult birth, doctors really know very little about it, although many have tried to treat it. There are now special clinics just for the treatment of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue. I don't want to be seen as an unhealthy person, I just want to be seen for myself. I'm lucky, I have very little pain with FM, which is what most people experience. The challenge for me right now is seeking work that is low stress and pays well. You might think this is some kind of a joke, but it isn't. I have a mortgage to pay and I need a well paying job that I can handle.

Today I definitely have a fuzzy head due to a cold, lack of sleep and layer on top of that my FM. Unfortunately I have a job interview. I could have put it off but I was too nice and said I would be willing to do it over the phone. Oy! Now I'm concerned whether I'll come across as coherent. Hopefully no employer will ever come across this blog.

If you are blessed with a good night sleep on most nights, relish those mornings wakings when you feel refreshed. It's something I strive for. But with a head cold it's even tougher. OK..enough whining....there are people without homes sleeping in the streets and I have a nice warm bed.

Writing Coach

So unwittingly I've ventured into the world of being a "Writing Coach". Does the profession exist? I'm guessing it probably does but I've never personally heard of one. I have friend who is getting her PhD and when she heard I wasn't working said she had a business proposition for me. Of course that peeked my interest.

She asked me if I'd be willing to be her "Writing Coach", since she knew I was interested in the field of coaching in general. So what is a writing coach in this context. Basically I don't edit or help in anyway with her writing; I'm simply a sounding board and someone to encourage her to do her writing, hold to her goals, help her determine if her current goals are realistic, cheer her on when she meets them or even partially meets them, and then call her on certain issues. For example, today she kept referring to a paper as being "scary". I think languaging is incredibly important as to how we hold something in our lives. So I asked her if she could stick to the work "long" which may not carry as any connotations.

I think it is helping her but I'm only midway through week 2 of helping her. BTW--if any of you out there would want me to do the same for you. I can do this over e-mail or by phone. I'm currently charging $30/hr, which is very inexpensive in the coaching world. For her that comes out to about $15/week since we are only doing this by e-mail.

Think about it if you have a big writing project or any project you need to get done. We may need to negotiate price, but I think I can help you.

Water

Water, the life giving substance. Recently there was a town (I believe somewhere in the South) that actually did a raindance to bring on the rain after a long drought. Living in Seattle we never seem to have that problem, with today being no exception. After 2 days of snow and now melt and also torrential rains we are experiencing flooding. Just up the street from me there are sandbags trying to hold back the water.

If we could only transport that water from our waterlogged area to the areas that need it. What can one do....life is not fair...for us nor for those who need water, food, shelter. Being unemployed has given me some perspective, although I do know I'll eventually be employed.

Rain, water and lot's of it shows us the unpredictability and uncontrollability of life. The less we seek to control it the better off we are...whether it's in seeking one's life work or find water in the desert.

The Life of a Notary

Last night I was a witness to the signing of a Will for a couple I'm getting to know. What was interesting was the notary. What a job! She gets to travel, meet new people everyday, and simply be there to notarize what is being signed. It's sounds ideal in many ways. My friend S., one of the people who the Will was created for, started to ask her about her life and found out that she's also a writer, not published but possibly could be. S. thought why not write a book about all the interesting people you meet as a notary. Her husband B. thought up the title "Notarize This". It would be very cool. The notary also noticed how with every adventure as a notary, she finds coincidences or threads as she called them throughout her day. In fact the woman she met in a nursing home just that morning had owned the very house we were in (I was a witness to the signing) along with John. The house is owned my John's mom. We thought that was amazing--weren't sure after she left if it was true. But I've noticed as you can tell from my previous blog, on 2 degrees of separation that we aren't really separate; that these synchronicities happen all the time. We just don't pay attention.

What if They Offer Me the Job?

OK...so I go to a job interview today; I'm a great fit for the job. And I'm afraid they'll offer it to me. But now I'm not sure I want a real job. What a dilemma! I need a job, but what I really want is to find the right job or not have a real job at all.

Then after choir today I run into a fellow choir member and we start talking about all the people who are working for themselves. Well there is a lot I can do, but I don't want to lock myself into one thing. I've thought about opening my own cafe with music of course and espresso, of course. I've thought about being a grantwriter because I've done that. I only applied for one freelance position and didn't get it.

I'm really a connector so I think, well--maybe I should be a recruiter. But the whole recruiter thing is really a headhunter and that just doesn't fit my values.

I could be an Executive Director, but I dont' want the stress. Then I've also thought about conference planning. I could start my own business, but I'm not sure that's the right direction either.

Then there's coaching, but that will take a lot of startup time.

Oy! What's a girl with so many options to do. I have to pay the mortgage! Enough whining--if I could just win the lottery (who me--I never even buy the damn tickets) I could do whatever the hell I wanted.

Next lifetime--I want to be a rock and roll singer.

Making Connections: 2 Degrees of Separation

What a wild day! I'm sitting on the bus across from an African American man that I recognize to be the same person who I met in the unemployment office 2 years ago. He's Zaid Abdul (can't recall his entire name) but he used to play for the Sonics. When I met him 2 years ago he was looking for a job as a counselor but he was also just starting to write a book about his life.

In my typical outgoing fashion, I say "sir, are you the same person I met in the unemployment office 2 years ago"....and is that the finished copy of the book you were writing about your life? He nods in agreement.

He's knows the bus driver and as he's walking off the bus mentions that he needs to find someone to write the music to a poem in his book. I yell after him, I know someone!

I talk to the bus driver who turns out to be this very interested dude who also is a playwright and also needs someone to write music for his plays.

Now for the most bizarre part. I call my friend up who writes music....she hasn't really done much with it yet, but it's what she does really well just not for a living. I tell her the story. She stops me and says "Lynn, I have Zaid's book and not only that M. knows him". That's her partner. "What", I say? How is this possible. Apparently he wrote most of his book at the library where M. works.

"So", I say to her, "when are you going to call him..this is just too big of a coincidence to pass up". "Tomorrow", she says. "Cool", I say. I can hardly wait to get the call back that she did it.

A Day in Court

In an attempt to collect my unemployment benefits, I asked my BBF Laurie to accompany me to the court for a hearing. I could never be a lawyer--everything is so procedural. I thought I did fine representing myself and it was great having Laurie there because she said so..and I always believe her when it comes to how people come across. Being denied your benefits is bad enough, but then having to prove that you deserve it can be pretty stressful. Mostly it was fine but it took 2 hours. Unbelievable. And in the end I was told because I was looking for both part and full time work that my benefits could be denied. Well I guess I gave it the good college try. What else can one do when faced with a mortgage and bills to pay and still no job after 3 months. The benefit is I probably would never have had my own blog or have the time to write and express myself in ways I never have before. So good for me!

Getting a Job-Finding Your Passion

So is work all that it's cracked up to be? I mean--can one really find a job that won't totally burn them out. I'm attempting to find that job right now and I'm not sure it's possible. I have so many questions spinning around in my brain about finding that elusive job or career that will both fuel my passion and not totally leave me lying on the ground with my face smashed in. How does a 50 something who is single make a career change without totally stressing herself out. I'm hopeful though that with the sleep apnea machine my sleep will improve and I'll be much more resilient then I am now. That I can actually handle a more demanding job that I love. And I want to work with people I really like. Now..come on..is that too much to ask? Maybe it is. But one can only hope.

The Little Red Hen

About 4 months ago I was hanging out with a friend near Greenlake at night and happened to poke my head into The Little Red Hen. I felt like I'd gone back in time or at the very least that I wasn't in Seattle, but in some bar in an out of the way place in Montana. Country Western all the way. I decided that I'd have to return to that place to really experience it. Last night I had my chance when I convinced a friend to go with me. A $5 cover was all it took to transport us back in time and place. We were no longer in the Greenlake neighborhood. Here there couples dancing country western style to crooning band called "The Swains". I spyed a pinpall machine in the corner. Oh Boy! I love pinpall. So I played a few rounds. It was the coolest machine; much better than the one I played in the basement of my dorm in college. The walls announced pulltab numbers while the beer kept on coming. I even got to dance although I fell when I took a dip because the guy I was dancing with couldn't hold on. My friend and I sat at a table with some 60 somethings. Hard to believe they were locals....we they weren't quite. Two from Everett and one couple from Kenmore. They had their war stories....one did literally....was an ex-navy man and pulled out a pic of himself at age 18 to prove it. Another had worked the oil fields in Alaska and has copies of huge checks to prove it. It was an experience I would never have expected to have in Seattle, particularly upscale Greenlake which is now surrounded by cranes and holes in the ground to announce yet more condos amongst the condos that are already there. The Little Red Hen--a gem among the swank stands out like a old black and white photo among the brightly colored ones that have been cut and sized on a machine from your digital camera. Let's hope it continues as a reminder of Seattle's past.

A Day at the Zoo

This was one of those stellar days in Seattle. Bright and sunny, crisp and cold. My friend Susan is a docent at the Zoo and gets free passes, so she offered to take me. I didn't want to pass up the opportunity so we went. She warned me to dress warm...I didn't listen and ended up freezing but in the meantime saw some pretty cool animals. My favorites were the gorillas. There was a 3 month old baby gorilla (not yet named), attached to it's mama Amanda. It was simply adorable. I pressed my nose up against the glass to have a moment of communion with another gorilla. How could we not be descended from them? It feels like they are looking into your soul. Last week I saw a program on PBS about one small town that wanted to incorporate Intelligent Design into the curriculum along with evolution. Come on! It was just a sneaky way of getting Creationist stuff into the classroom. The evolutionists won the court case, thank goodness! So there are a few holes in Darwin's theories. But it's better than a theory based on the bible. And who's to say how many actually days it took God to create the earth, let alone people. We don't know how long a day really was. I don't see the conflict. And I particularly don't see it when I start into the eyes of a gorilla who looks and acts so much like a person and carrys 99% of our DNA.

Helping Mom Buy Books on the Net

So my parents refuse to get a computer. OK...so they're in their 70s....but what kind of excuse is that? Plenty of older people have computers. So here I am with phone in hand....trying to do advanced searches for the 3 grandkids who live in New Jersey to find just the right books for each of them on Amazon...Ben, Tyler, Lara ..it's enough to drive one bonkers....

Now to be fair to my mother she did her homework and found some books by reading the newspaper that looked good....but then there was Ben...he only likes Star Wars..do you know how many books there are on Star Wars for 4-8 year olds?....about 25....so how does one choose?

Then being my parents they want free shipping...well, of course because it's the holidays you have to pay extra to get the dang books there on time.

I decided in the end..that today was not the day for doing this..."can it wait until tomorrow, mom"? Yes, but I'm getting my stress test tomorrow so not in the morning...."Fine", I say..whenever...

I shouldn't complain..I have parents that love me and it's a sunny day in the Northwest.

Menopause and memory; Samantha Who?

So I read in this book called Menopause and the Mind that says you can have these lapses.....when going through the big "M". Things like forgetting the name of someone you should remember.....or forgetting the names of normal everyday objects. Last month I could not for the life of my remember the name for dustpan....I just sat there and said to myself what is this thing called. I had a Doc once say that is was my mind searching for estrogen.....well I'm way past menopause now....so now I'm worried. I saw a menopause specialist today and she said I should see a neurologist. Oy! That's all I need. I can't imagine they will find anything. In some ways I feel fortunate..I never had the terrible hot flashes that I see my other 50 something friends going through..no ripping off of shirts in the middle of a dinner party.....so dripping sheets. However, having a poor memory at work really sucks. They tell you to do things like crossword puzzles to improve your memory. I hate crossword puzzles. I'd rather gouge my eyes out. Well, maybe I will see that neurologist just so my already anxious mind won't have one more thing to worry about. Anyway tomorrow all I have to do is eat Turkey...so I don't think that will require a lot of brain power...thank goodness!

Singing is Loverly

Although I was orignally not going to sing for the Luminary Event at Greenlake because I had guilty experiences from childhood from singing Christmas Carols in the 2nd grade....(being a Jewish girl and all) I decided I'm going to go for it. When I worked for a catholic hospital I had a guilty pleasure from singing carols and in some ways didn't really feel guilty because it was for the patients....now who is it for...well for the darn pleasure of singing that's all....guilt be damned!

Find Your Calling? Find a Muse!

So I have this new friend who has just catapulted her way into my life. It's not that I don't have friends but she is unusual. An amazing business woman and a great lover of life with a million interests, I feel so lucky. As she wants to help me figure out what I want to do with my life....you know the whole "find your calling deal". Here I'm 51, and I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I do know my top strengths because there is a great book out there called, Now, Discover Your Strengths....I recently went to Amazon and found out that there is an updated version call Strengthfinder 2.0. Probably well worth the investment. For what it's worth my top strengths are Woo (Wins Others Over), Empathy, Communication, Connector, and Ideation. I'm still looking for the Thing.....and I guess I feel lucky to have found someone who wants to help me figure that out.

Sleepless Nights

It's been about a week now of wierd, hard sleep. Supposedly I have sleep apnea...OK I do...but there are people who get by with it and without the CPAP machine I'm supposed to be getting used to. I do know that I should be meditating or doing something else to calm myself down before I go to sleep. I wrote an article about a great technique on ehow.com. If you want to read it. Just go to the site and you can read all of my articles including the one on Grounding. Just type in tiferet in the search window and you'll find it. I have found it very helpful. I know I should be doing it, but I'm not.....too lazy I guess...too much on my mind. Trying to find my lifes work! That's really tough...but I know I'll find myself eventually....I have to..I'm already 51.